Wednesday, December 30, 2020
MODERN YIDDISH
The Jewish diaspora encompasses so many languages, from Ladino to Hebrew to Yiddish, to lesser known tongues such as Yevanic (Judeo-Greek) and Aramaic. For many Ashkenazi Jews, in particular, using Yiddish words can be a fun and humorous way to celebrate our heritage and our ancestors, while also helping to keep the language alive.
While the wonderful language of Yiddish has so much to offer — in particular, its colorful curses, such as “gay cocken oifen yam,” which means, “go shit in the ocean” — the age-old tongue can sometimes be at a loss for the unique situations of modern life.
Fortunately, author Daniel Klein identified this conundrum — and solved it. “Yiddish doesn’t have the vocabulary for the modern world of Google, mixed marriages, new gender identities, and many more aspects of contemporary life,” he tells Kveller.
And yet, “as a language that picked up words as Jews emigrated from one nation to another, it has a capacity for adding new words to its vocabulary.” Drawing on his experience working in the writer’s room for TV host Merv Griffin, he created an updated vocabulary of new Yiddish expressions, Schmegoogle: Yiddish Words for Modern Times.
As evident in the book’s title — which combines Google with “a long list of Yiddish put-down words that begin with sch” like, schmuck, schlemiel and schlemazel to name a few — most of the words in this fun dictionary are a mashup of an English word or phrase with a Yiddish one, creating puns and expressions that will make you laugh, ponder, and appreciate the evolution of language.
Klein includes language on all topics, from food to family to technology. Here are some of our favorites:
1. Challahday n. Cute slang for the Sabbath, during which challah (braided egg bread) is traditionally baked and eaten. Klein adds that the term “has been generalized to mean any special day or vacation day, with or without bread.” We always love new ways to celebrate the beauty that is Shabbat!
2. Cyberschmooze v. To engage in long, animated, and gossipy conversation on the internet (where basically all interactions happen during these pandemic days). This word comes from the Yiddish word schmooze, which means to talk intimately or cozily. Klein adds that this word is especially necessary in modern times, as Jews love to “yak a lot, always have, and continue to do so in cyberspace.” Too true.
3. E-chazerai n. Accumulated unanswered emails. This word stems from chazerai which is Yiddish for “garbage,” or “pig stuff.” Klein notes that the Yiddish language has a knack for finding a variety of words that invoke pigs (and also, penises).
4. Fake-kaktah adj. Pretending to be a wild, colorfully kooky person — but not fooling anyone. As in, “There goes Millie with that fake-kaktah laugh again.” This word is a combination of “fake” and the Yiddish word fakakta, meaning “ridiculous,” especially in behavior.
5. Gnoshaholic n. A person who can’t stop nibbling on food for virtually the entire day. As many of you know from our sister site, the Nosher, the word nosh (which is spelled here as “gnosh”) means “to nibble.”
6. Hotzeplotz phase n. A period of life when a person feels lost and aimless, often experienced by young people just out of college (or many of us living through a pandemic). Hotzeplotz is the Yiddish word for “the middle of nowhere.”
7. Kvellkill v. To brag so much and so often — particularly about one’s children — as to completely bore the listener. Since you are arriving at this article at Kveller (welcome!), you are likely aware that kvell is Yiddish word that means “experiencing pride for someone else, in particular one’s children.” Combined with the word “buzzkill,” kvellkill is kvelling taken too far. (Note: Determining when this happens is open to interpretation!)
8. Machatunausea n. The feeling of revulsion one feels at having to spend time with the parents of your child’s spouse’s parents. The origins of this word is the combination of nausea with the Yiddish word machatunim, which means the “parents of your daughter or son-in-law.” While holiday gatherings may normally inspire these feelings in parents with married children, we’re guessing that one bright spot of the pandemic is that machatunausea is lessened over Zoom.
9. Mini-megillah n. A post on social media that is too long to keep its reader’s attention, like a Twitter thread that just goes on and on. This term stems from the Yiddish word megillah, which means “long and tedious story.”
10. Patshke disorder n. A neurotic condition of culinarians who endlessly mess around in the kitchen, without ever getting the meal on the table. This disorder invokes the word patshken, which means “to dawdle or mess around unproductively in a room of the house” — particularly the kitchen.
11. Polischmerz n. The quality of having a dismal or depressing view of the national or world political situation. (Which just about everybody has these days!) This originates from the Yiddish word schmerz, meaning “pain,” which comes directly from a German word of the same meaning.
12. Schmatta-chic: a. The quality of a person who wears worn or old clothes as a fashion statement. Klein notes that this compound word is derived from shabby-chic, or the concept of wearing worn-down clothes as a fashion statement. Schmatta is the yiddish word for “rag.” Hence, schmatta-chic. Fun fact: this is Klein’s favorite of the words: “It’s the sound of it that gets to me.”
13. Schmendrink n. A ludicrous, super-sweet cocktail. (Think a mix of ginger liqueur and raspberry-lime sorbet.) Schmendrink combines the word drink with the Yiddish word schmendrick, meaning “fool.”
14. Slapshtick n. Old-fashioned and long-winded humor. For example, the endless, detailed jokes told at Catskills resorts in the mid-twentieth century. Klein gives the example: “Uncle Morty is doing his after-dinner slapshtick again.” Klein notes that this combination of slapstick humor and shtick, meaning a person’s particular interest or comedy, is “kinda fun, if you have a spare hour or two.”
Header image design by Grace Yagel
New Year’s Eve Resolution Spell
New Year’s Eve
This year, try writing your New Year’s resolutions in dragon’s blood ink on
a square piece of parchment paper. This ink is traditionally used for spells
involving strength and power. Then, upon the paper sprinkle a bit of dried
mugwort, and roll it into a tube and secure it in the center with a red
ribbon. Anoint a new white candle with bergamot oil as you state your
resolutions aloud. Light the candle and then use its flame to set fire to
the rolled-up parchment. Cast the parchment into a small cast iron cauldron
(or other fireproof con-tainer) and thrice recite the following incantation:
“To the flames my words are spoken as the newborn year unfolds. Resolutions
be not broken, promises be upheld.”
by Gerina Dunwich
Llewellyn's Spell-a-Day 12/31/01
This year, try writing your New Year’s resolutions in dragon’s blood ink on
a square piece of parchment paper. This ink is traditionally used for spells
involving strength and power. Then, upon the paper sprinkle a bit of dried
mugwort, and roll it into a tube and secure it in the center with a red
ribbon. Anoint a new white candle with bergamot oil as you state your
resolutions aloud. Light the candle and then use its flame to set fire to
the rolled-up parchment. Cast the parchment into a small cast iron cauldron
(or other fireproof con-tainer) and thrice recite the following incantation:
“To the flames my words are spoken as the newborn year unfolds. Resolutions
be not broken, promises be upheld.”
by Gerina Dunwich
Llewellyn's Spell-a-Day 12/31/01
New Year's Blessing
May this New Year be one of Joy, abundance, good-will, peaceful
awakenings and graceful journeys. May we have courage
to look for the blessing in every moment, and the audacity
to celebrate it!
May compassion reign in our hearts and kindness ring
through every word. May our waking dreams be filled
with joy, creativity and passionate pursuits. May our
hearts and minds be joined as One; unified within, so without.
May we remember we are all Children of the Earth: kindred
spirits, brothers and sisters, members of the Great family
of Love.
May we choose Love over fear; unity and harmony over
separation and discord. May we have the strength to claim
our authentic power; standing true in Word, action and deed,
and with firm resolve BE the change we wish to see in the world.
May our children see the Light of Love in our eyes. May our
elders be honored for the wisdom each bears. May every Heart
trust they are Divinely endowed with the birth-right to thrive,
and wake each day celebrating the Great- Full-Ness of life.
So mote it be !
Helping The World Every Day
| Helping The World Every Day |
We can all vow to make the world a better place one day at a time by being our true authentic selves. We make our homes, workplaces, communities, and countries better and brighter when we think positive thoughts that echo outward, give donations of time or money, smile at everyone we meet, and lend those in need of aid our assistance. As we learn, we inadvertently improve the universe because we can only be truly involved when we are informed. Even enthusiastically sharing ideas with others generates positive energy that then serves as the motivation for more tangible change. Selfless and helpful deeds remind us that we exercise some degree of control over a world that can seem chaotic at times. Even the smallest of such deeds is a demonstration of the fact that we are capable of changing the world in a positive way. So much negative energy is generated by the suffering, pain, and close-mindedness we are regularly exposed to, but we can counteract it in a constructive way by thinking and acting altruistically when opportunities to do so arise. Helping the world often takes no more than a moment, just a wish for the world is a beautiful gesture and can be done by even the busiest of people effortlessly. The gift you give each day need not be grand or attention-worthy because the broader benefits are the same no matter the literal repercussions. Once a day, you can affect reality, and you can reap the rewards of knowing that you are making the world a better place, day by day. |
Tuesday, December 29, 2020
May 21, 2020
Dear Tristessa,
If you just sat here and looked out the window it looks like any normal spring day in May. Breezy and Sunny even warm. If you look in the window you see a woman wearing a mask. You see everyone wearing masks that cover their mouths. Since March we have been experiencing a Pandemic. The virus is called Covid-19 or the "Corona Virus". Many people have been affected, many people have died, many people call it a hoax. It seems until it affects someone you know in the first degree of your circle it is not real. The country did a half- assed job of shutting down to stop the spread. With Trump in charge you can't expect much better. If only we had a real president. The future is so uncertain. Nothing is normal anymore and everything seems so surreal almost dystopian.
No one is emotionally stable anymore. I am sitting hear on the verge of tears because I received an email from Rhiannon's art teacher about a virtual awards ceremony where she is to receive an art award. I want to see her receive the award. We missed out on her receiving a silver key from the National Honor Society for the Arts at Kutztown because of this virus. Now this. No real graduation. We don't even know if she will be able to start college on time normally. This is all so fucked up.
In so many ways we are blessed. No one in our family is sick. We are all working and able to pay the bills. So many are out of work and not able to get unemployment or waiting to get unemployment relying on food banks and social services to hang on to their homes and to be able to have food. Because I have enough I have been doing this silly little game. When someone looks like they are having a hard time coping due to Covid-19 I ask them what their favorite nut is and if they give me their address I send them a surprise.
It is both sad and funny how paranoid everyone is about sharing their address. They want to verify it is me. Ask so many questions that I tell them what I am up to and ruin the surprise. Maybe I am just too trusting.
Marci Karess
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
