When Jerry and I were together our first 2 years were great. Lots of love and laughter. We got through the tough stuff too. He was sober. Then he hung out with a friend and thought one beer would be okay. He was wrong. The more he drank the uglier he got. Never physical but verbal nastiness. He made my kids uncomfortable in their own home. September of 2021 he moved out. He spent the next 6 months on a sofa in P-Burg.
We fought more a part then we did when we were together. Really mean and nasty text messages. Then he got a girlfriend. I dated some. The morning of Valentine's day he sent me a text message admitting he still loved me. He did say it all along. That morning I heard him and then he went off to be with his girl which he had every right to do. I lost it. I went crazy. I sent her the text message he sent me. She needed to know he still loved me. What's really crazy is I found her number and sent it. It broke them up. We had an intense fight over that one. I did feel bad that someone innocent got hurt.
We arranged to meet that Sunday at Paddock one of our places and talk. Really talk. Be honest with each other for the first time in 6 months. We talked and we connected like never before. We were honest about our feelings. He owned that he fucked up big time with the drinking. I admitted I still loved him but we had so much to work out before even considering getting back together.
The next day he had a doc appointment with the ENT. He has been complaining of a sore throat for 2 years now. They found a mass. They suspect cancer. This past Tuesday I took off from work to take Jerry for his biopsy. 5 hours at the hospital. The preliminary report from what the ENT can see he thinks it is squamous cell carcinoma. If this is the case Jerry has a 99% survival rate with radiation and surgery. Either way the doctor thinks Jerry's voice can be saved. Worst case scenario treat with all three surgery, chemo and radiation.
Jerry is currently living on a friend's sofa where he has been for the past 6 months. Rents are astronomical and ridiculous. He is in a smoke filled environment and without getting into details not an environment for recovery of any sort. Jerry has no one who can step forward and help him. I can. I choose to help him. I still love him and will not let him go through this alone. Whether we are back together for the long haul or for right now so I can help him is uncertain. I believe if you can help another human you do it. If you love that human you don't think twice about it.
At first my kids were furious. Ahren may still be. Rhi is softening. I am willing to do this on a contingent basis. Give Jerry the time he needs to recover and beat this thing and in that time redeem himself to the kids. Show them he has humbled and changed. If he succeeds and we are all living in peace then he can stay on beyond his recovery. If not, then Jerry can find his own place and we can continue in separate homes.
My children are adults. They have their own lives. Ahren has found love. Rhi has a date next week. They may be sharing my house. It is our home. I need to do what I feel is right. Those closest to me understand and agree I am doing the right thing helping Jerry through this. The bottom line is that it is my choice.
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