I do hope I am not jinxing things by writing this now.  Quick spit in the evil eye to keep me safe while I write...

February 10th, I started working here at Bazzini.  I was on unemployment for about a week before I found this job.  Prior to that I was floundering.  My first big mistake was leaving working for Richie to work with Dana.  My 2nd big mistake was going back to work with Dana as many times as I did.  I should have figured it out the first time that I was beyond burnt out at caregiving and I needed to let it go.  That was August 2014.  The Sunday before I was supposed to do my last week with Richie I get a phone call from Josiah telling me Richie passed away in his sleep.  Shock.

I remember calling "the kids" as I referred to them.  The girl at the front desk/ marketing and the new kid who was taking over for me and telling them we had to meet at the office.  We had to call clients to let them know and assure them Ralph would take care of them and their finances.  I remember on the way there saying out loud. "Richie, what the hell?  What are they going to do now?"  Then it happened.  Billy Joel's "Only the Good Die Young" came on the radio and I cried.

Richie made me crazy.  Barbara made me crazier.  I am sure I did my share of the same to them.  We worked together for 5 years.  I learned so much.  He was like an uncle to me.  Sometimes he was an ass mostly he was a mensch.  Toward us in the office and his clients.  I would have trusted him with my last cent.  The Marsh's were/are good people.

To this day whenever I hear a Billy Joel song I thing of Richie and especially when I hear "Only the Good Die Young" I say a little spiritual "Hello" to him and take it as a sign of a good work day.

Like I said I floundered a lot.  I have had 12 jobs since then.  Most of the temp positions trying to figure out where I fit and what I wanted to be when I grow up.  I have had favorites like the Methadone clinic.  Awesome summer job where I worked 5:30 am to 1:30 pm.  I felt like I was working half days even though I was putting in full 8-hour days.  I had the pool in the back yard then and loved coming home to float every day.  I loved the clients and I loved my coworkers.  They couldn't offer me the money I needed to go permanent and Dana opened the daycare and I was excited to be a part of that. Eventually that tanked and Dana let me go right before I went on a week vacation to OCMD.  What a great trip!  Being who I am although I let myself enjoy, I checked in with the temp agency daily and had a job lined up by the time I got home.

I was on top of my game when I worked for Richie.  I had a career and I was good at it.  I ran that office well.  I knew our clients and I had a good rapport with each one of them.  Every job I had in an office after I seemed to become more inept, bumbling and incompetent.  I looked like a liar regarding my role at ASC.  TS was the tip of the iceberg.  I am good with people.  I am an amazing greeter and front desk person.  I can learn things.  If you saw the person I was when I started at ASC with no experience in an office and walked out of there knowing QuickBooks, Annuities, Life Insurance, Managed Money, CRM usage,and Constant Contact.  I really thought I could do it.  I could relearn and acquire new skills.  I really liked the folks at TS.  A nice bunch of people.  The majority of the girls in the office had been there for 10 years or more.  They knew the ins and outs.  I knew nothing.  Each mess of a job I had the one thing I was good at was greeting clients be it on the phone or in person.  The anxiety at TS was awful.  I truly believed if I stayed at that job, I would have had a heart attack.  With the anxiety the mistakes snowballed exponentially.  I got to a point where I could do nothing right.  The happiest day of the years between ASC and Bazzini was the day they fired me from TS.  I knew I could get Unemployment because I did try and I was respectful.  They were so kind to me.  Thought I think LS kind of hated me in the end because I was such a pain in the ass with my mistakes.  She couldn't unfriend me from FB fast enough.  The other girls stayed friendly with me.  I even ran into MB at one of their sites over the summer she was friendly as can be.  It felt good seeing her and her positivity despite the way things ended for me there.

After losing the job there I started my unemployment I think I got one payment.  I hit the temp services again.  Answered a ton of ads on Indeed.  Then I got a call from Bazzini.  The interview went well.  When they called, I said yes not being 100% sure?  I didn't want to just grab a job for the sake of having a job to have it end in disaster again.  Little did I know there was a pandemic looming around the corner.  On one hand I could have gotten my Unemployment plus 600/mo. extra.  On the other working the front desk of an essential business I was able to work consistently through.  Bazzini has been good to me and good for me.  I love the people here.  I love what I do.  They taught me things slowly and patiently.  They let me learn at my own pace.  They let me make mistakes and learn from them.  "It's not the end of the world until it is the end of the world" -MD Is one of my favorite quotes from my supervisor.  My confidence is back.  I don't mind Mondays even after a long holiday.  Many days I am happier at work than I am at home.  But that's another story...