"My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher." —Socrates
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"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are." —Will Ferrell
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"Never criticize your spouse's faults; if it weren't for them, your mate might have found someone better than you." —Jay Trachman
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